I Saved A Shark!
As I approached my grandparents condo in Florida, after yet another bracing walk of 10,000 steps for WaterAid, I noticed a crowd surrounding the local Beach Rat. I call him "Beach Rat" with affection – B.R. runs the rentals in front of the condo. He rents out chairs and jet skis, tells crazy stories and amuses the tourists by sticking live sand fleas in his mouth. He doesn't eat them - that's the best place to keep them alive till he can use them as fish bait. As Beach Rat eloquently said himself with a crawling critter in his ...
Naughty Non-Profits: 7 Eco-Sins
I am about to do something slightly ungrateful, definitely heinous, very uncomfortable, but in the end completely necessary: I'm going to blow the environmental whistle (or horn) on many of the non-profits I've been helping this year. Let me explain why - I've been trying to complete 50 different volunteer activities before 2010 , which means I have volunteered with a lot of different non-profits in the last few months and unfortunately I have seen disappointing environmental practices at many of them. Don't misunderstand me, charities do amazing work and help the world in a myriad of ways, but they are under funded, ...
Diatribe Against A Leather Couch
Attention Bachelors: Stop Buying Leather Couches! Actually check that. I’m talking to anyone who purchases leather furniture. Put your VHS tape of “Coming to America” away, and let’s talk about why leather couches are the most unpleasant piece of furniture that can be purchased. 1. Is your furniture cold or is it just you? One feature of leather that isn’t discussed often on the sales room floor is it’s uncanny ability to absorb and magnify the temperature of the surrounding room. This temperature issue is particularly grating as any man with an air conditioning unit in his apartment or house will jack ...
My Open Breakup Letter to Panama City Beach
Dear Panama City Beach, Florida- We have a problem. Our relationship has suffered because of your neglectful attitude and your refusal to better yourself. I am threatening to end this affair here and now if you don’t clean yourself up, pay attention to what really matters, and have some self-respect. I have been a faithful lover and have repeatedly stood up for you when people called you “Redneck Riviera.” When the nationally syndicated TV show “Squidbillies” used you...Read More
Why Do Fish Have Good PR?
“How long have you been like that?”, “You don’t look like a vegetarian.”, “Don’t you get hungry?” As a vegetarian it’s almost guaranteed that you will hear the above phrases at least one thousand times during your lifespan. An entire article could be written about how to answer these questions and why vegetarians are forced to endure them, but right now I want to focus on the most frequently asked question; the question that refuses to go away:“But you eat fish right?” “No. I don’t eat fish, thank you, just veggies.” That’s my typical response, but what I’m thinking is: “Why would ...
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 52 – CHILL The Boys Are Just Snowboarding
“He’s going to kill himself and I’m going to be held responsible.” That was my thought at least a dozen times while volunteering for Burton’s CHILL program at Mountain High Ski Resort. The CHILL program takes underprivileged teens to local mountains for snowboarding lessons one day a week for six weeks. Equipment and lift tickets come care of Burton. Some of the kids have never seen the mountains before, though many live within an hour drive of a range. Because my life had been a rollercoaster in recent months I was only able to be a volunteer chaperone on the ...
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Monsanto Bees
Africanized Bee In a move that would make Gargamel, Dr. Evil, and Auric Goldfinger proud Monsanto has bought one of the leading bee colony collapse disorder (CCD) research groups, Beeologics, in an apparent effort to cover their sizable tracks and, of course, take over the world. Monsanto’s genetically modified (GMOs)... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 72 – The NoH8 Portrait
Yes! My own pub! I was about to jump the border. At the last minute I got the opportunity to work and live in Europe for the summer. It was a chance to work on a children’s book (8-12 year old age group) that I had conceived 5 years ago and had outlined in full and started the previous year. Between brushing up on my Spanish,... [Read more]
Thorium
I, like many nerds, discovered the possibility of thorium as a nuclear fuel from acomplex documentary starring thorium fanatic, NASA scientist, and brain-trust Kirk Sorensen. You’d have to have a doctorate in physics to break down all the information Sorensen spews, but here’s what makes thorium exciting as a possible... [Read more]
TheGoodMuse Explains: How to Sell a Car While it’s on Fire.
(And get over Kelley Blue Book) I’m not a big car person. Just don’t care. Wish I didn’t have to drive one. A car is the last thing I ever want to think about. That being said, I should never be allowed to write anything about a car. However, I did manage to sell one, on fire, for over Kelly Blue Book. So maybe I deserve... [Read more]
The Island President
The Maldives. I want to be here! Now! “The Island President” is that rare film, which is as effective an enviro-political documentary as tourism video. Wandering into the theatre to see the tale of former Maldivian President Mohamed Nasheed , and his fight to save his nation from rising sea levels, I left with a burning... [Read more]
MY Volunteer Journal: Episode 71 – FreeRice.com the Best Couch Volunteering
Shhhhh... I'm Volunteering from The Couch! Do you like video games? Do you want to volunteer but don’t want to leave the couch? Great! I have an activity for you. Go to www.FreeRice.com FreeRice.com is the Official Winner* of: Volunteering Made Easy Best Way to Stay Seated and Volunteer I Made the World A Better Place... [Read more]
The SMURRF: A Big Green Innovation, Not a Tiny Blue Creature
Santa Monica, CA introduces the world’s first runoff recycling facility and then, never ignoring a cross promotional opportunity, names it the SMURRF. SMURRF = Santa Monica Urban Runoff Recycling Facility. Its primary function is to eliminate pollution in Santa Monica Bay caused by urban runoff. The state of the art facility... [Read more]
TheGoodMuse Explains: Why Do I Have to Submit to a Polygraph to Adopt a Pet?
Hi You do not have to submit to a polygraph to adopt a pet. Clearly, I have not been doing a good job as thegoodmuse. My only job is to offer a first person account of volunteering or all thing non-profit so you, my adoring public, might know what to expect when doing goodness. But I haven’t been covering all bases. Case... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 70 – Chopped My Hair Off. Again. For Pantene Beautiful Lengths
Laughing in a Paris Cafe I cut my hair for charity. Again. To be quite honest, this haircut… It was kind of an emotional decision. Don’t get me wrong – cutting your hair for charity is always a good idea. Always. However… Unlike the last haircut, which I anticipated for a year, this one came out of… Well, it... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 69 – Lucky
Lucky Chillin on my Kitchen Table It took a long time to write this one, as I’m still a little sad about it: I was driving across country over the holidays and had the… distinct pleasure… of stopping in Hooks, Arkansas. The town is made up of a few trailers and two gas stations – one station apparently only takes... [Read more]
Love and Diamonds
Farah Brook during the filming of Got Vote “There was a time when love didn’t equal diamonds,” I explain to a girlfriend whose boyfriend is all but guaranteed to be her fiancée soon. She’s freaking out about whether he’s going to pick the right ring. I’m freaking out because I didn’t think my girlfriends did this. “But... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 68 – People with Allergies to Cats Shouldn’t Volunteer with Them
Mercedes & Kitty Kat Don’t volunteer with cats if you’re allergic. I repeat, differently: If you are allergic to cats do not volunteer with them. En espanol: No voluntario con los gatos si usted alergico a ellos. Obvious? You’d think so, but I had occasion to test this. Here’s what happened… I set up a volunteer... [Read more]
TheGoodMuse Explains: How to Be Bad and Look Good
Happy New Year! Why is everyone so attracted to bad boys and girls? And how can I be bad while maintaining general wholesomeness? I decided this would be best to answer during the holidays because of the naughty and nice tie in. And if you type naughty enough your SEO goes off the chart – naughty naughty naughty naughty… The... [Read more]
UPDATE! My Volunteer Journal: Episode 38 – Kiva – Last One Promise
The Ladies Payne Repaid Again! Re-loaned again. And just in time for Christmas. I would never suggest that Kiva is more fun as a competition. Especially not a competition between family members. That would be tacky and defeat the purpose of being generous out of the goodness of your heart. But… if, lets say, my family... [Read more]
Why Being Green > Occupy Wall Street
The Occupy Wall Street campaign has inspired millions across the country and the world to evaluate their governments and the strangle hold corporations have on career politicians. Occupy New York has even managed to raise $500,000 to continue the fight “to end the tyranny of the 1%.” But ending “the tyranny of the... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 67 – I Take a Shower with PETA
Freezing for Furry Friends Ladies and Gentleman, the following is an account of my weirdest volunteer activity as TheGoodMuse- yet. I had never volunteered with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), but then I got this email, which said something like… Come take a shower in the middle of the LA Convention... [Read more]
TheGoodMuse Explains: What’s The Lamest Thing About Volunteering?
TheGoodMuse Thinks After an in-depth investigation of male hostility towards Jane Austen and adoration of all things thong we return this week to the focus of this blog and answer… What is the lamest thing about volunteering? And how do we fix it. Shockingly, the answer isn’t waking up early on a Saturday or Sunday,... [Read more]
My Volunteer Journal: Episode 66 – AIDS Walk LA! Don’t Hate ‘Cause We’re Fierce!
WeHo Cheer - the official Good Will Ambassadors of West Hollywood If AIDS Walk LA (which raised over 3 million dollars to benefit people living with HIV) was a video game it would go something like this: Your car zooms through the back street of West Hollywood and Beverly Hills avoiding the mass of traffic trying to get into... [Read more]
TheGoodMuse Explains: Why Men Love Thongs and Hate Jane Austen?
Independent Minded Womenz Why men* love thongs and hate Jane Austen? Now I know I promised an answer to this almost universal truth and mind bender weeks ago. Sorry. I had to do some research and then I discovered it’s a long answer. Again, sorry. While quizzing males I got a variety of answers from “Because thongs... [Read more]
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